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Compassion

An excerpt from oral teachings given by Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche, 2004.

We have a saying and it translates to something like this: "Having compassion is like trading places with another person." When you put yourself in the other person's place, then you'll naturally feel what is needed of you. That's exactly what compassion is! You can't have compassion without feeling the pain of others. If you are not able to sense others' pain then you are not able to cultivate compassion. It's always like this, not only for compassion, but also for acceptance, forgiveness, everything. The cultivation of these all begin with your having some real understanding of where the other person is.

However, we always cling to our particular point of view. When we judge something, or when we get angry at someone, it's always based on our own point of view. For instance, if someone close to you says, "You don't love me enough." Immediately your reaction might be, "What do you mean I don't love you enough? I've done this for you, I've done that for you. Can't you see? Just look what I have done for you." But who is it who's speaking? It's the "I" that is reacting. "I" has all the reasons why and how much "I" love you.

Regardless of what I may think rationally or logically, though, often it's beneficial in our relationships to try instead to feel directly what the other person is feeling in that situation - to change places with the other person. Go beyond the logic because logic isn't always enough. Even if one's logic is very good, it is still based on one's own point of view. In this case, it would be better to connect directly with what the other person is feeling as "unlove." If you have even a glimpse of understanding - of that pain or suffering or confusion, then you are going to open up. We open our hearts. Anyone can open their heart when they get just a taste of that.

Reprinted from
THE VOICE OF CLEAR LIGHT • News and Inspiration from Ligmincha Institute • Volume IV, Number 9 — September 1, 2004